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• Oh, How I Hope and Pray That They Will, but Today I Am Still …
  If you can’t complete the sentence in the headline above, then either you are under the age of 30, you grew up without a television or you are from a distant foreign land. Any way, I’m pretty sure that somewhere in the Legal Blog Watch constitution it states that in the event that a federal appeals court cites to "Schoolhouse Rock" as part of an opinion, such court shall be recognized in a post. Accordingly, I salute you, United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia, and your tremendous citation in an opinion this week to the cartoons I watched growing up: We have serious doubts as to whether, for standing purposes, it is ever "likely" that Congress will enact legislation at all. After all, a proposed bill must make it through committees in both the House of Representatives and the Senate and garner a majority of votes in both chambers — overcoming, perhaps, a filibuster in the Senate. If passed, the bill must then be signed into law by the President, or go back to Congress so that it may attempt to override his veto. As a generation of schoolchildren knows, "by that time, it’s very unlikely…

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• Friday’s Three Burning Legal Questions
  Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: Am I wasted, or did this urinal cake in the men’s room just talk to me? Answer: Possibly both. (Detroit Free Press, Michigan adds talking urinal cakes to DUI fight) 2) Question: I battered my sister. In my defense, however, she criticized how much maple syrup I placed on my pancakes. That’s a legit defense, right? Answer: Not in this country. (The Star Press, Police: Arrest follows dispute over pancakes) 3) Question: Umm, how am I supposed to use this public bathroom in Clear Lake Park, Fla.? The doors seem to be sealed shut! Answer: Not sealed, welded. That is how the city keeps the homeless away. (Daily Mail, City takes extreme measures against the homeless… by welding restroom doors shut)
• Second Circuit Holds Jury May Bring Indictment Home to Read
  On Wednesday, the Second Circuit issued an opinion on an interesting question of trial practice and procedure: Is it permissible for the jury in a criminal case to take the indictment home to read on their own time? In U.S. v. Esso (via WSJ Law Blog and the New York Law Journal), a case alleging a mortgage fraud scheme, jury deliberations began on Aug. 25, 2010, at about 3:20 p.m. At 4:25 p.m., the jury informed the court that it planned to leave at 4:30 p.m., and asked whether they could take the indictment home to "carefully read." The defendant’s attorney opposed this request, arguing that reading the indictment at home is "akin to deliberating" and "akin to asking to take exhibits home," and also that the indictment "serves as the government summation." The government did not object to allowing the jury to take the indictment home provided that the jury was instructed not to discuss the indictment with family members or to deliberate outside the jury room. The district court decided that the jury could take the indictment home, telling them it was "the same thing as reading it here in the jury room tomorrow morning at ten, it…

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• Thursday’s Three Burning Legal Questions
  Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: My buddies and I were driving in a car and we stupidly threw a milkshake at a woman on the street. She became angry and threw her alligator purse at our car, which somehow went right through our open car window. We then learned that the purse contained $2,000 in cash. Can we get in trouble for the milkshake? How about if we keep the purse and the cash? Answer: According to police, you could face charges of battery for striking the woman with the milkshake, and possession of stolen property or misappropriation of property for the purse. (Palo Alto Online, Woman hit with milkshake loses $2,000) 2) Question: A man was walking past my apartment door and let loose an unforgivable fart. Can I threaten him with my revolver? Answer: No sir, that could get you charged with aggravated assault, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose, unlawful possession of a firearm and making terroristic threats. (NJ.com, Police: Teaneck man pulled gun on neighbor for farting) 3) Question: The line for metal detector number one at the airport goes on forever,…
• Law Firms Must Watch Out for ‘Doppelganger Domain Names’
  I always thought that the reason for snatching up any domain names that might be confused with the one your company is using was to avoid "cybersquatting," or perhaps to avoid losing website visitors or even customers to a competitor trying to piggyback on your name. And while those are valid reasons, another potentially more damaging reason has now emerged: "doppelganger" domain names that are set up in order to steal emails that are supposed to be going to employees at your law firm or company. Threat Level reported this week on a law firm — Gioconda Law Group — that was the alleged victim of such tactics. In a recently filed lawsuit, Gioconda Law Group alleges that a defendant named Arthur Kenzie registered a "doppelganger domain," GiocondoLaw.com (note the slight difference in spelling), "that is designed to catch email that is intended for the law firm’s domain … if senders mistype the address." The law firm’s complaint asserts claims of cybersquatting, trademark infringement and unlawful interception of a law firm’s private electronic communications, and seeks $1 million in damages. According to an article from September 2011 on the topic, someone who wants to intercept emails can register a doppelganger…

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• Wednesday’s Three Burning Legal Questions
  Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: My wife and I got divorced and split up our assets. But she never told me that she had a secret room filled with 1,200 pairs of designer shoes worth about $1 million. Can I sue her to get this asset added to the settlement? Answer: Divorce lawyers say that while clothing typically is not considered an asset, 1,200 pairs of expensive shoes may be an exception. And watch out that she does not just dump several hundred pairs of already worn shoes on your doorstep. (ABC News, Husband Suing Ex-Wife Over 1,200-Pair Shoe Collection) 2) Question: I left my 11-week-old twins alone inside my SUV for 40 minutes, but in my defense I had to go to Nordstrom. Can I get into trouble for this? Answer: Oh yes — you can be prosecuted and on top of that you may be banned from Nordstrom. (The Consumerist, Mom Ordered To Stay Away From Nordstrom For Leaving Kids In The Car To Shop) 3) Question: My 13-year-old daughter got in trouble and actually had to go to court because she and a friend cut…
• The Growing ‘Barratry Law Niche’ in Texas and Other States
  First, there was barratry — the practice of "creating legal business by stirring up disputes and quarrels, generally for the benefit of the lawyer who sees fees in the matter." People didn’t like barratry, so many states made it a misdemeanor crime punishable by fine or imprisonment and, when the perpetrator is an attorney, possible disbarment. Most recently, in states like Texas, statutes allow for civil actions against lawyers who illegally solicit clients. On his blog today, Chuck Newton writes about the state of barratry in Texas. He notes, for example, an episode in which his daughter’s boyfriend was in an auto accident that left him with a concussion, a hurt leg and a totaled car: This accident happened at night. The next morning, while he was still out of it, a person from a local personal injury law firm called him offering their services to him, claiming the law firm would do so for a lower percentage of any recovery than other law firms might. The lady felt comfortable in calling him not because of any prior relationship with the firm, as she did not mention the name of the firm or the lawyer in the phone call, but…

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• EU Court Says Employees’ ‘Enshrined’ Right of Paid Vacation Not Lost by Sickness
  In Europe, four to six weeks of paid vacation time for employees is an entitlement that employees and the courts hold sacred and is, according to the Court of Justice of the European Union, a "particularly important principle of EU social law." Last week, the Court of Justice further protected this entitlement when it held that "a worker who becomes unfit for work during his paid annual leave is entitled at a later point in time to a period of leave of the same duration as that of his sick leave." In other words, if you are on vacation and you get sick, you can use sick days during the vacation and use those vacation days later. The case in question — Asociacion Nacional de Grandes Empresas de Distribucion (ANGED) v Federacion de Asociaciones Sindicales (FASGA) and Others — arose out of Spain, when ANGED (translated: the National Association of Large Distribution Businesses) argued that workers who were affected by temporary incapacity for work during a period of leave were not entitled to take leave at a later date. Spain’s Tribunal Supremo (Supreme Court) asked the Court of Justice whether the EU’s Working Time Directive precluded certain Spanish legislation under…

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• Monday’s Three Burning Legal Questions
  Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: My restaurant just received a call from the police telling us that our account with the power company was past due and the power would be shut down in 20 minutes unless we went to CVS and purchased $1,450 in Green Dot prepaid debit cards. The police then told us to scratch off the back of the cards and give them the numbers so they could access the money. Of course we promptly complied. Police do this, right? Answer: Uh, no. (Daily Bulletin, Claremont restaurant gets scammed) 2) Question: My good-for-nothing ex-boyfriend grabbed my purse out of my apartment. He later returned it to me at work and when I opened it I found that he had defecated inside my purse. Yes, I’m talking human feces in my purse! Please tell me he can be charged with some heinous crime for doing this. Answer: He can be charged with disorderly conduct, criminal damage to property and theft for defiling your purse in that way. (DL-Online, Police accuse man of defecating in ex-girlfriend’s purse) 3) Question: I am from Iran, and I’m trying to…

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• ‘Thou Shalt Not …’ Join our Health Club, Skinny
  Welcome back to the latest in LBW’s "Thou Shalt Not …" series. As you may recall, this series seeks to properly memorialize the growing number of instances I see where a corporation rolls out its "death penalty" punishment on a customer: "You can never come here [buy here] [eat here] again!!" The latest installment in this series: Thou shalt not join our health club/yoga studio because you are too damn skinny. You work out. You’re in good shape. Now a new gym is opening down the street from your house, and you think you’ll join it. Not so fast, skinny! The New York Daily News reports that several gyms and yoga studios now have policies that limit their clientele to "plus-size" people. In other words, skinny people need not apply. Body Exchange in Vancouver is one such gym with a "strict policy" that only allows plus-size women to join. CEO Louise Green says the gym views itself as a "safe haven" for overweight people, offering them "camaraderie." Downsize Fitness, a chain of gyms, is also targeted and designed for people who have at least 50 pounds to lose. Although the gym doesn’t formally ban anyone from joining, it does make…

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• Can You Be Convicted of Carrying a Concealed Weapon in Your Own Home?
  Let’s put aside the practical question of whether it is safe or wise to keep a steak knife in your pocket, and move on to the legal issue presented in State v. Griffin (Del. June 18, 2012). In the Griffin case (via The Volokh Conspiracy), William Griffin was in his basement packing and unpacking some boxes, and was using a steak knife to open the boxes. The police came to Griffin’s door in response to a report of a domestic dispute and, to make a long story short, he put the steak knife in his pocket and met up with the police. Griffin was arrested for the domestic dispute and, while he was in custody, police discovered the steak knife in his pocket. The police stated that Griffin initially told them the knife was left in the basement, but Griffin said he told police the knife was in his pants. Griffin was charged with, among other things, the felony of carrying a concealed deadly weapon. The Delaware Supreme Court reviewed the question of whether a person can be convicted of carrying a concealed weapon in his own home. The court held that the Delaware Constitution provides the right to keep…

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• Thursday’s Three Burning Legal Questions
  Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: I would like to get the vanity license plate "TOILET" on my Maryland plates. Don’t judge. Is that going to be a problem? Answer: Sorry, but "TOILET" is on the list of banned plates in Maryland. However, if you feel strongly about it, you can demand a hearing on the issue. (Reuters, States carefully monitor motorists’ license 2 B creative on personalized plates) 2) Question: My girlfriend asked me to get some PAM (the cooking spray, it turned out) to use as a sexual lubricant. In a miscommunication that I now deeply regret, I thought she was asking me about an old girlfriend of mine named Pam, and I quickly confessed to recently having sex with my old girlfriend Pam on a boat. This prompted my girlfriend to fly into a violent rage, and she punched me repeatedly and then threw an olive oil bottle, a keg cup and a flashlight at my head. Yes, I messed up badly here but she should face some charges, right? Answer: For sure. Domestic battery. (The Huffington Post, Barbara Hall Had Cooking Spray Sex, Threw Bottle…
• Things You Can’t Do on a Plane: Vol. 20
  You might think that after Volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3, Volume 4, Volume 5, Volume 6, Volume 7, Volume 8, Volume 9, Volume 10, Volume 11, Volume 12, Volume 13, Volume 14, Volume 15, Volume 16, Volume 17, Volume 18 and Volume 19 of Things You Can’t Do on a Plane, that we’d have exhausted the list of things you can’t do on a plane. Nope! The list grows daily. Here are three more things I’ve recently learned that you cannot do on a plane: Wear a shirt revealing your cleavage (for women). Female passengers may not wear a cleavage-baring shirt, even if the flight is departing from a town in the desert on a hot day. CONSEQUENCE: Gate worker will demand that passenger button up her shirt if she wants to board the flight. Punch a fellow passenger, yell profanities at other passengers and air crew, and punch the seats in front of you in a violent manner (for grandmothers). Punching passengers and seats is prohibited, as is cursing out the air crew mid-flight. This prohibition applies equally to drunken grandmothers, as well. CONSEQUENCE: Pilot will turn flight around and land plane, and passenger will be restrained and…

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• Wednesday’s Three Burning Legal Questions
  Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: I am a politician. I went deep into the woods at night to have sex with someone, and later learned that my tryst was captured on film by a wildlife camera that featured infrared technology allowing it to shoot in the dark. Can I receive some compensation for this? Answer: Yes, how does £16,000 sound? (The Telegraph, Wildlife camera catches Austrian politician having sex in forest) 2) Question: I’m from Austria and I got married yesterday. After the ceremony but before the reception, my piece-of-@&!# new husband went into the kitchen and had sex with a waitress, where he was discovered by my surprised father! Can I get a divorce right now? Answer: Sorry, you need to wait six months like everyone else in Austria. But you will probably receive alimony! (Daily Mail, Drunk groom had sex with waitress at wedding reception… and was caught by his new father-in-law) 3) Question: I am applying for a job, and I think I have a good shot at it. But what do they mean with the interview question, "When were you saved?" Answer: Some companies…
• ‘YOLO’: Error Allows Retiree to Withdraw $1.5 Million From ATM, Which He Gambles Away
  When you are a retired autoworker with just a few hundred dollars in your bank account, and you discover that a bank error has suddenly allowed you to make unlimited withdrawals, in any amount, from any ATM machine, you have some choices to make. Your options in this situation would seem to include: (1) not withdrawing money you know you don’t have and alerting the bank to the issue; (2) enjoying this error to an extent that you can later recover from financially, e.g., withdrawing enough to go out to a fancy dinner or on a cruise or something; or … (3) going on an all-out, "YOLO," 15-day binge of ATM withdrawals (until the bank discovers the error) totaling $1.5 million, and losing every penny of that $1.5 million gambling in casinos. According to Local 10, a retired General Motors worker named Ronald Page recently found himself in this very situation, and went with Door No. 3 above — the $1.5 million gambling spree. With the money all gambled away and Bank of America demanding the return of its $1.5 million, Page is now in a bit of a bind, and faces sentencing by a federal judge on June 27….

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